Attention Liberals, Islamists, Stalinists, Atheists, and Decepticons:
The ever-perceptive DJ “Mr. P” Konservo has been doing some snooping around the internets and has discovered our secret relationship with our Islamic Militant friends at URUKNET!
Don’t you see?? Our Islamist Allies re-printed a story from ThinkProgress using the Ctrl-C / Ctrl-V skills we taught them in our secret Libero-Islamo-Stalino-GayAgenda Training Camp on the Syria/Iran/North Korea border!!!
This is terrible!
Soon they’re going to know EVERYTHING – all our secret keyboard shortcut technology will be in the hands of the AMERICAN OVERLORDS!
THIS IS A CODE TURQUOISE ALERT!
Okay, people, this is not a drill. Repeat – NOT A DRILL! We’re going to have to take down the Judeo-Christian Foundations of America sooner than we thought. Get your duct tape and plastic sheeting, keep your cyanide pill handy, and wait for further instructions.
If you see one of our Islamist allies, please pass on this coded message:
اتتنشان مي إسلاميست الليز،
اي كنو ذيس يس ينقليش بوط ذا كونسيرفا طرولز وونت كنو ذات. لول. انيحو، جوست ساينغ هالو. اني داي ناو وي ويل بي ريد وف ذا نارو مينداد فولز ين اور كونطري. وي ويش يو لوك ويث يور اون نارو مينداد فولز.
كورديالي،
طوسترهاد
29 responses so far ↓
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 12:08 am
I’m on it, HT.
Jeebus, how did they find us out so soon!?
hussein toasterhead // May 2, 2008 at 12:13 am
I don’t know! I told those guys at URUKNET they were gonna get us exposed if they weren’t careful!
You don’t – you don’t think they’re double-crossing us, do you?
They do write in Italian over there – what if they’re REALLY allied with Trajan and his Latin Kings?
Oh no! And we taught them the secret handshake and EVERYTHING!
Barfly // May 2, 2008 at 12:14 am
WE’RE AT CODE TURQUOISE, PEOPLE!</em>
Where’s my beret?
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 12:21 am
Damn it, I thought they were cool.
Somebody got to them, but it’s gotta be higher up than the fuckwit Latin Kings. Everyone knows the upper limit on IQ for those idiots is 70 (full scale).
What do you mean “we?” I never taught them the handshake. You did? We are so fucked…
hussein toasterhead // May 2, 2008 at 12:35 am
Well, they were eating couscous, driving hybrids, and listening to Dave Matthews – how was I supposed to know? They looked legit!
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 12:38 am
Couscous, hybrid cars, and Dave Matthews are the ultimate deep cover tricks of Islamic Militants, so I guess any of us could have been tricked.
I don’t look good in orange, I’m heading for the border.
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 12:40 am
Oh fuck, I’m out of duct tape…
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 12:41 am
Wait a minute…….Trahan posts TP articles all the time….
TPW is run by Islamic Militants!
hussein toasterhead // May 2, 2008 at 12:47 am
GASP
That’s it – it’s the only logical explanation!
The Latino-Islamo-Libero-Stalino-Konservo-Judeo-Christiano Alliance! We’re all on the same side!
But if we’re all on the same side, who are we fighting? Who could possibly– GASP!
It must be the Buddho-Whig-Libertarian Alliance who are our true arch-enemies!
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 1:09 am
Uh oh, did you say “logical?” That could be problematic for our cause.
Wayne A. Schneider // May 2, 2008 at 1:12 am
The Latino-Islamo-Libero-Stalino-Konservo-Judeo-Christiano Alliance!
Or, put another way…
The Judeo-Christian-Konservo-Islamo-Latino-Liberal-Stalino Alliance, or JC KILLS Alliance.
Oh, no! Now that fat bastard Bill Donohue from the Self-Appointed-Pit-Bulls-of-Catholicism Catholic League (of which, to my knowledge, he is the only member) will be all over our ass like a freshly ordained priest because of our acronym!
Jebus, Help us!
Wayne A. Schneider // May 2, 2008 at 1:13 am
One might think I’m going to Hell for that, but then, one would not be an atheist like me.
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 1:16 am
Wayne, as long as our arch enemy isn’t those elitist Buddho-Whig-Libertarian Alliance, I don’t care. They say they’re just like us, but they’re just posing for the little people.
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 1:19 am
Hell is is a place where people have elbows that won’t bend, and it’s full of starving people.
Heaven is exactly the same, except the people help each other eat.
Shayne // May 2, 2008 at 3:31 am
HOLY CRAP BATMAN! I took the day off and look what happened.
Shayne // May 2, 2008 at 3:33 am
Wait! I drove my hybrid car out in public today. Do you think maybe that’s what caused all this mayhem. I promise from now on to keep it parked in the garage and only drive my Peterbilt if this all goes away.
Gregor Samsa // May 2, 2008 at 4:12 am
Uh oh… I leave for a few hours and look what happens!
We will have to change our secret code to something more sophisticated, osay ouray enemiesay oday otnay indfay usay outay.
Arrycay onay rotherbays anday istersays!!
liberal traitor // May 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm
OMFG Twajie’s Latin Kings have found me! URUKNET is a double-agent organization, they ratted me out! Oh please, Twajie, NO! NO! Don’t hurt me with your harsh misspelled words!!! AHHHHHHH!!!
With…my final breath…I damn TPWatch!
Zooey // May 2, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Damn. That liberal traitor was a good man. He’ll be missed…
hussein toasterhead // May 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Oh no! They got LT! NO!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You shall be avenged, my progressive brother.
You. Shall. Be. Avenged.
Toasterhead admits to Islamic-Leftist alliance. « Hussein Toasterhead Watch // May 2, 2008 at 5:15 pm
[...] OH SHIT THE GIG IS UP! [...]
IgnoranceIsNotBliss // May 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I’d join in the fun but I can’t keep from seriously LMAO with you guys. =))
Gregor Samsa // May 3, 2008 at 1:47 am
What!? Liberal traitor is no longer?!?
Oh no!
He was a stalwart in the Liberal/Islamist/Stalinist/Atheist pact and bulwark against the Buddho/Whig/Libertarian Alliance!!
But not even him could withstand a volley of misspelled words and run-on sentences… those are deadly…
…sigh… sob…
TerryHusseinBinTurtle // May 3, 2008 at 4:35 am
Allah u akbar, bwana
gummitch // May 3, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Is it too late to mention that the expression is “the jig is up”, not “the gig”? Unless, of course, it was an ironic typo.
hussein toasterhead // May 3, 2008 at 5:51 pm
gummitch // May 3, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Is it too late to mention that the expression is “the jig is up”, not “the gig”? Unless, of course, it was an ironic typo.
No no no it is”gig” on account of “gig” is a slang term for both a two-wheeled horse-drawn cart AND a globally interconnected end-to-end set of information capabilities. Which makes much more sense than an apparatus for separating crushed ore by agitation in water and/or a lively dance in triple time.
So you see…
konservo // May 3, 2008 at 7:15 pm
What’s the problem?
Your pro/dem/lib/stalinist/islamicist/racist/kkkist/socialist/gorist/moorist brother is a shahid. He’s banging black-eyed virgins in paradise, what great reward could he achieve?
liberal traitor // May 5, 2008 at 2:44 pm
“Your pro/dem/lib/stalinist/islamicist/racist/kkkist/socialist/gorist/moorist brother is a shahid. He’s banging black-eyed virgins in paradise, what great reward could he achieve?”
Wow, I have that many descriptors? SWEET! I’m way more interesting and complex than I originally thought. And, wait, I’m banging who, where? Since when? What, I am like the narrator from Fight Club or something, running around having sex with chicks and beating the shit out of people using my imaginary friend persona?
Hussein Toasterhead Reiterates Age Old Muslim Brotherhood Propaganda, Claims Source is “Insightful” « Hussein Toasterhead Watch // May 22, 2008 at 8:14 pm
[...] he educates himself, HTH will continue to be the useful idiot that he is. Doing the bidding of his Stalinist and Islamicist overlords. Possibly related posts: [...]