TP Watch Hates Old People

Trajan claims that ThinkProgress is anti-elderly. But who’s the anti-genarian youth-hugger around here? Take a look at these out-of-context quotes and see for yourself:

John Murtha is … chicken.
… McCain is too old for the Presidency.

Hmmm. So McCain is “too old,” and Murtha is a scaredy-cat, huh? Why, cause old people are fearful? Is that what you’re saying?

Is Murtha too old for Congress? I think so.

Oh, so now he’s fearful AND too old for Congress. Guess someone at TP Watch is an ageist. Read on:

Think … this disrespect of … But t… person at … an… age is … ally … aching.

Ohhh, so your aching allies make you disrespect an aged gentlemen you see fit to call a “Butt Person.” And just who IS this “Butt Person” of whom you speak? John McCain or John Murtha?

Butt Person indeed! >:(

OH SHIT THE GIG IS UP!

Attention Liberals, Islamists, Stalinists, Atheists, and Decepticons:

The ever-perceptive DJ “Mr. P” Konservo has been doing some snooping around the internets and has discovered our secret relationship with our Islamic Militant friends at URUKNET!

Don’t you see?? Our Islamist Allies re-printed a story from ThinkProgress using the Ctrl-C / Ctrl-V skills we taught them in our secret Libero-Islamo-Stalino-GayAgenda Training Camp on the Syria/Iran/North Korea border!!!

This is terrible!

Soon they’re going to know EVERYTHING – all our secret keyboard shortcut technology will be in the hands of the AMERICAN OVERLORDS!

THIS IS A CODE TURQUOISE ALERT!

Okay, people, this is not a drill. Repeat – NOT A DRILL! We’re going to have to take down the Judeo-Christian Foundations of America sooner than we thought. Get your duct tape and plastic sheeting, keep your cyanide pill handy, and wait for further instructions.

If you see one of our Islamist allies, please pass on this coded message:

اتتنشان مي إسلاميست الليز،
اي كنو ذيس يس ينقليش بوط ذا كونسيرفا طرولز وونت كنو ذات. لول. انيحو، جوست ساينغ هالو. اني داي ناو وي ويل بي ريد وف ذا نارو مينداد فولز ين اور كونطري. وي ويش يو لوك ويث يور اون نارو مينداد فولز.
كورديالي،
طوسترهاد

TP Watch Opposes Imperial Walkers

If you want to know the depths to which the TP Watchers will sink, look no farther than Trajan’s latest headline:

Think Progress atatcks McCain for not detailing his plans.
April 29, 2008 · No Comments

Atatcks? ATATcks?

Could it be that trajan is referring to the All-Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicle from The Empire Strikes Back? Why would trajan oppose such a thing?

Surely someone who’s studied history and ancient warfare as trajan does would know the value of having a vehicle that can walk on all surfaces – snow, ice, tundra, permafrost – in the fight to protect an empire from being overrun by rebels. I would think he’d be all for AT-ATcking anyone and everyone, including Senator McCain.

Or maybe he’s more of an AT-ST kinda guy.

LOL owned by a bunch of Muppets.

I got yer Hip Hop right here

Here’s Palestinian hip-hoppers DAM with “Meen Erhabe?” – “Who Is The Terrorist?”

Here’s another DAM video – “Born Here.” This one’s in Arabic and Hebrew:

And another one from DAM. Here’s “Innocent Criminals.”

Toasterhead’s Bniin Chicken Tagine

This Moroccanesque recipe requires a tagine for proper cookingness. Le Creuset makes a good one with a cast-iron base. The conical lid of the tagine recycles the steam and keeps the chicken crazy moist. You could probably do this with some other slow-cooker, but the tagine just looks so darn cool. Use organics and local and fair-trade stuff wherever you can. This recipe serves two people.

Ingredientistics

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• ¹/₃ cup chopped onion
• ¹/₂ teaspoon chopped garlic
• 2 large boneless chicken breasts, chopped into 1-inch cubes.
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspooon ground coriander
• 2 tablespoons honey
• Juice of ¹/₂ lime
• 1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
• ¹/₂ cup low-sodium chicken stock
• ¹/₄ cup golden raisins
• ¹/₄ cup chopped almonds

Directionology

Fry the onion and garlic in olive oil on high temperature in the tagine base until the onion starts turning clear. Dump in the chicken breasts and quickly brown the outsides of each piece. Drop in the spices and cook another minute or so,

Mix the honey, lime juice, vinegar, and chicken stock and pour into tagine base. Stir well, crack in some fresh pepper if you like, and turn heat really really low.

Cook for 1¹/₂ hours, adding raisins and chopped almonds after about 45 minutes. After 1¹/₂ hours, remove lid and turn heat up to thicken liquid.

Serve over couscous. This is complemented well by a viognier or terret sauvignon, but for real authenticity you need some mint tea:

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Moroccany Mint Tea

This is my take on the traditional recipe. For the real thing, try being reincarnated in Marrakech. This recipe makes a medium teapot or so.

Ingredism

• 3 tablespoons Temple of Heaven gunpowder green tea
• 1 tablespoon jasmine green tea
• 3 sprigs fresh mint (or 2 teaspoons dried spearmint)
• 1 fuckton turbinado sugar or 1 shitload honey or some blend of the two.

Directrix

For wimpy results use one of those tea balls or tea baskets that strains the tea leaves out of your tea. Boil your water and pour a cup or so into the teapot. Swish the teapot around and then pour it out. This cleans the tea or something. Then drop in the mint and fill the teapot with boiling water and let it steep a while.

Add some sugar or honey to a teacup, pour in the tea, swish it a bit, then pour it back into the pot. Repeat a bunch of times, then serve in little teacups. Enjoy!

Trajan75: Immortality is A-OK!

The delusions of the blogosphere’s village idiot, Trajan75, just continue to spiral out of control. Now it appears that Captain Freakopod has taken issue with elementary school biology. He dedicated an entire post to this comment of mine:

hussein toasterhead Says:
April 25, 2008 at 8:02 am e

Okay, fine. You’re right. I do want cancer patients to die. I also want the Spanish to die. And all other Christians, for that matter.

Hey, Trajan – I have a news flash for you: Everybody dies.

It’s part of the natural cycle of life. Everything – from bacteria to blue whales, cancer patients to Christians – eventually shuffles off this mortal coil and departs the land of the living for the great unknown beyond the shores of the river Styx. Despite efforts by scientists and plastic surgeons to postpone the inevitable, the world death rate is still steady at 100%.

But Trajan disagrees. His omnipresent urge to argue has led him to issue his most ludicrous proclamation yet – he is anti-death. (But pro-genocide, oddly enough.) He doesn’t think anybody should die, and that all humans should be immortal. Well, let’s just see what would happen to the human population if we followed Trajan’s “everybody lives forever” plan:

As any fool can plainly see, the rate of population growth explodes geometrically when set against a high UN prediction of population growth. Instead of nine billion people in the world in 2050, under Trajan’s plan we’d have 247 billion people on the planet. Those 247 billion people would all need food and shelter and water and jobs and money, and would all be competing for the extremely limited resources left on our planet. There would be massive food riots and water wars and famine and starvation that would last for eternity. Billions of people would be doomed to misery and suffering, praying for a merciful death that would, alas, never come.

That’s the world Trajan wants.

He is truly a cruel and unfeeling individual.

Trajan75: Happy Birthday, Mein Führer!

Well, here’s one for the “color me not surprised” pile!

Our favorite America-denying, genocide-supporting, antifreeze-drinking, woman-killing, lexically-challenged, antisemite fascist Trajan75 had this interesting comment in a post yesterday about whatever stupid crap he was yammering about:

trajan75 // April 23, 2008 at 9:24 pm

Avid,
I celebrated 4/20!

Hmmm… 4/20. April 20. What happened on April 20 that someone like Trajan75 would celebrate… Hmmm. I wonder….

Oh, of course! It could only be the birth of his idol, Adolph Hitler. It makes perfect sense that someone with genocidal fantasies and megalomaniacal tendencies would celebrate Hitler’s birthday. One can only wonder what activities Trajan had planned for his little Nazi Party. Pin the tail on the trade unionist? Bobbing for cripples? Hide and go seek the final solution of the Jewish question? One can only speculate as to what gay frolicking mischievery Mr. T and his fools got up to.

Trajan75: DEATH TO AMERICAN WOMEN!!!

So despite the fact that ThinkProgress Watch Watch declared Mission Accomplished in the war against the conservatroll blogosphere, the TP Watchers continue to wage a low-level guerrilla war against progressives. Today, they took issue with a blurb from today’s ThinkFast:

“For the first time since the Spanish influenza of 1918, life expectancy is falling for a significant number of American women.” “This is a story about smoking, blood pressure and obesity,” said Majid Ezzati, of the Harvard Initiative for Global Health, a co-author of the study.

Trajan75, known for his wide pro-genocide stance, responded with this dollop of weak sauce:

Americans should exercise and eat right. It’s our own fault this is happening.

In other words, he’s saying in extremely plain and callous language, that American women deserve death. In Trajan75’s pro-obesity and pro-heart disease fantasy world, possessing another X choromosome is a capital offense. Ladies, I suggest you watch yourselves – Jack the Trajan is out for blood this time!

TP Watch Watch Declares Victory Over The Forces of Evil

VICTORY FOR AMERICA!!!!! USA #1!!!

After like two weeks of battling the morons over at ThinkProgress Watch and their new admission of defeat, Hussein Toasterhead Watch, I think it’s safe to declare victory. Having run logical and factual circles around their constant barrage of name-calling, I feel that it is no longer fair to continue destroying them thusly. The merciful thing to do is to declare victory.

TPWW Recipe Cabal: Crazy Good Apple Muffin Thing

Ok, this is a recipe I made this morning and it was crazy good. I call it the Crazy Good Apple Thing. Here’s the recipe, based on this one from the Internets but with some special “Toasty Touches.” For best results, use organics and fair-trade ingredients wherever you can:

Ingredientocracy

Muffinness
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ¹/₂ teaspoon baking soda
• ¹/₂ teaspoon sea salt
• 1 teaspoon apple pie spice blend
• ¹/₂ cup butter
• ¹/₂ cup raw cane sugar
• ¹/₂ cup brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 ¹/₄ teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 ¹/₂ cups shredded apple – gala or pink lady works crazy good but anything you can get locally is ideal
  Toppingicity

• ¹/₃ cup packed brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• ¹/₂ teaspoon ground korintje cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon butter

Directionista

Preheat oven to 375F and grease a brownie pan or muffin tins whichever you prefer. I’m lazy and thuslike prefer the brownie pan.

Muffinness: Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and apple pie spice in a smallish bowl. Blend butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla in a biggerish bowl. Add apples. Blend in the flours and stuff. Pour the muffinness into brownie pan or muffin tins.

Toppingicity: Mix butter, brown sugar, and flour. Blend in the butter. Dump it on top of the muffinness.

Bake 20 minutes or until finished. Enjoy!