Toasterhead Reviews DJ Konservo Hit Piece

After much anticipation, DJ Konservo aka Mr. P has finally dropped some science on us all. And by science I mean opinion (conservatroll science). His long-awaited tell-all exposé on the mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a spinach tortilla that is Toasterhead (me).

Aside from the usual libel about me being Anti-American (not true) and pro-terrorist (also not true), he takes one of my more controversial statements out-of-context, contorts it horribly, and uses it to besmirch my blogocred:

That’s right. Mr. Hussayn Toasterhead thinks that all the people who died in the September 11, 2001 al-Qaida terrorist attack had what was coming to them. Note the language, he says “deserve,” this implies that Toasterhead not only hates America, but also, he supports al-Qaida.

Completely false. I have never said that all the people who died in the awful 9/11 attacks “had what was coming to them,” except in this very sentence in which I am saying that I never said that. Now it is true that during a heated debate with a conservatroll I have, on occasion, stated that the United States deserved to be attacked — referring to the country as a whole, not to the innocent civilians who were killed during the attack. I may not have said it as eloquently as, say, an angry white preacher or an angry black preacher, but I said it.

That does not mean that I support al-Qa’ida (I don’t) or hate America (I don’t). It just makes me a harsh critic of a country that I and many others feel has misbehaved, and badly. It is an “I told you so” to a country that created terrorist monsters around the world and didn’t bother to think about the blowback this would inevitably cause. It is a scolding of a government that received warnings of an impending attack by al-Qa’ida and did nothing to stop it. It is a wag of the finger to a bully that has committed horrible atrocities around the world in the name of profit, while hypocritically bragging about freedom and democracy. I am merely petitioning my government for redress of grievances. Progressives and conservatives alike are welcome to disagree with me. But I ask that you take issue with my words, not the ones Trajan or Konservo or any other conservatrolls put in my mouth.

My review of Mr. P’s hit piece: Two Thumbs Down

TP Watch Can’t Handle the Truth!

According to a recent bit of humdrum bloghorrea flushed yesterday into the ThinkProgress Watch series of tubes, it appears I have struck a nerve. Mr. Trajan75 has, it would seem, objected quite strenuously to my characterization of U.S. foreign policy in the latter half of the 20th century as “Imperial.” He did not like this at all, and his objection goes far beyond the de rigeur conservatroll labelling of me as “anti-American” and inviting me to “leave America if I hate it so much.” His objection is so severe that he is, in fact, editing the term “American Empire” out of my comments.

How curious.

Well, Mr. Trajan75 — IF that is your real name — I regret to inform you that I will not be leaving America any time soon. First of all, it’s where I keep all my stuff. Second of all, contrary to popular belief, I do not, in fact, hate America – I love this country, even when it misbehaves. Third of all, and most importantly, I’m not going to let you fucks off so easily.

See, while I do love the United States, I object to a great many aspects of U.S. foreign policy, specifically what I and many published authors have characterized as the American Empire. Unlike the old conquer-and-colony empires of past centuries that required massive armies to maintain, the United States built its empire through staged coups, targeted assassinations, and debt slavery. And although these actions were framed at the time as “stopping Soviet expansion,” the truth is that they were about advancing U.S. corporate interests, as well as those of our allies. It started with Operation Ajax overthrowing Iran’s elected president in 1953 as punishment for nationalizing the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company, and then spread to Guatemala and Chile and Indonesia and Honduras and Cuba and Colombia and Panama and many other places. And where we didn’t use the stick of covert ops and terrorism, we used the Bretton Woods institutions and many self-serving foreign assistance projects to provide carrots that would ensure countries’ continued subservience to U.S. corporate interests, even at the expense of their own citizens. This behavior is documented in many books and web sites, including declassified CIA reports.

Now, I’m all for a country protecting its own interests. I’m all for a country using diplomacy and trade to further its own interests in the world. But these efforts must be grounded in the rule of law. I want my country to adopt a foreign policy that recgnizes its shameful past and participates fairly in the international arena. It’s not about socialism or communism – I believe capitalism can work, but it must be grounded in some rules that protect human rights. We can build prosperity without building empire.

As always, I invite comments or criticism on this topic. However, in the interest of pissing off the conservatrolls, I will be changing their comments to Zappa lyrics.

UPDATE! – TP Watch is blogging about this blog! Too chicken to come over here and debate me blogo-a-blogo, Trajan75 has seen fit to libel me once again on his pathetic internettery, and even threatens me with bodily harm – IN THE PAST:

Toasterhead is a Traitor and If I ever met you I’d spit on you! If I had met you the way I was 15 years ago, you’d end up really hurt. I have no respect for you and will combat your lies. Traitorhead. Long Live America and death to it’s enemies, including you Traitorhread, pray to Allah your Moon God that we never meet.

15 years ago? Oh no!! The conservatrolls have invented TIME TRAVEL!

Look out, Toasterhead of 1993! Put down those Nirvana 8-tracks and flannel shirts and be on the lookout for a basement-dwelling conservatroll from the Internet! He’s armed — with saliva!!

UPDATE 2: Whew. I’m still here. Looks like Toasterhead of 1993 got the message and avoided the time-travelling conservatroll.

Now I can only pray that my past self didn’t accidentally step on any butterflies that would have altered the path of history and created an alternate present in which, say, Al Gore had somehow lost the election of 2000 and gained a lot of weight chasing ManBearPig. That’d be ludicrous, huh? Pure science-fiction stuff, huh?

TP Watch Poster Fails Out of Kindergarten!

Now as we all know, the grandiloquent man-children behind the blogograph ThinkProgress Watch are not well known for their command of grammar or diction. But it appears that the problem may be worse than we originally suspected. It seems that they are having difficulty distinguishing several letters of the alphabet. Specifically, the letters S and B.

In today’s bit of blogghorea, they cite TP poster Bilbo “Hussein” Baggins thusly:

Think Progress as has been documented here at TP Watch has expressed open suppport for the Iranian backed Mahdi Army. Well poster Bilbo Hussein express his support of this Fascist Organization.

Bilbo Hussein Baggins Says:
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 am

Iraqi Shi’ite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr called on Thursday for a million-strong demonstration against U.S. ‘occupation,’ a potentially destabilizing show of force after his followers battled U.S. and government troops.

Do you suppose having a million people in Iraq saying “get the hell out of our country” would be enough for Bush. Nah… he could care less what the people in Iraq think.

Now, putting aside for a moment the fact that Bilbo’s quote doesn’t actually express any support for Shi’ite cleric Muqtada as-Sadr, we can also see that the TP Watcher is quite confused in his description of as-Sadr’s organization as the “Iranian backed Mahdi Army.”

As numerous news organizations have reported, it is not the Mahdi Army of Muqtada as-Sadr that is backed by Iran, but the Badr Organization (the armed wing of the Supreme Islamic Iraqi Council) that was formed in Iran in the 1980s and continues to receive support from Iran. The Badr Organization is the one allied with the ad-Da’wa party of Iraqi President Noori al-Maliki.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that at least one of the posters at TP Watch failed kindergarten and thus is unable to distinguish between these two very different letters.

TP Watch Scrapes Bottom of Barrel

It would appear that the fine folks at ThinkProgress Watch have completely run out of bullshit. Unable to counter the progressive site’s commentary in any substantive way, they’ve now resorted to targeting flippant (and subsequently deleted) comments by individual posters.

Truly some high-quality political debate over there at the watch.