TP Watcher to Commit Hate Crime, Post Video Evidence

Predictably, the radical genocide-supporting anti-Semite Trajan75 has thrown his overwhelming support behind the U.S. soldier who desecrated a Quran by using it for target practice. While most sensible, decent human beings condemn such an act, Trajan sees fit to praise it:

This soldier is a hero! Americans should burn Korans or take a crap on them and send them to the Saudi Embassy. I will soon release a Koran burning video!

Well done, Mr. Pagan! Thank you for allowing us to archive this evidence for posterity. I’m sure you’re aware that the activity you describe is classified a hate crime under section 775.085 of the Florida Statutes, which define hate crime as “a crime in which the perpetrator intentionally selects the victim based on one of the following characteristics: race, color, religion, ethnicity, ancestry, national origin, sexual orientation, advanced age or mental/physical disability.” The crimes, in this case, would be arson, “to unlawfully and intentionally damage, or attempt to damage, any real or personal property by fire or incendiary device” and intimidation, “to unlawfully place another person in fear of bodily harm through verbalthreats without displaying a weapon or subjecting the victim to actual physical attack.”

If Mr. Pagan does release his video as planned, I hope readers of this site will join me in distributing copies of it on the Internet. Particularly to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office and the Tampa Police Department. I’m sure they’ll find it a real hoot!

The Drug Addiction of Bigotry

In tonight’s bite-o-spite on the TP Watch, AvidEditor provides a frightening insight into the mind of the conservative bigot. Now I truly understand why these people are so royally fucked-up. To these assholes, hatred is merely a defense mechanism against a made-up enemy:

… we must be careful of what we tolerate, because intolerance is the gatekeeper, the immune system that acts as a barrier. There are things for which that barrier should be lowered and things for which it should remain in place. A society that universally tolerates everything is a society without values or defense mechanisms.

When the defense mechanisms no longer exist, when the gate is permanently raised and the immune system disabled, the society is open and vulnerable to conquest, exploitation and colonization. A society eager to tolerate its intolerant enemies is like an AIDS patient with no working immune system welcoming in cold sufferers or an unarmed man offering a hug to an opponent who is trying to stab him to death. Yet that is almost exactly the situation we are in.

In other words, we have to hate Group X because they threaten to impurify our society, to destroy us from within. It’s a defense mechanism. We have to be racist and bigoted otherwise we’ll be destroyed.

Of course, it hasn’t always been Muslims who have threatened to destroy us from within. First it was all non-whites, or whites without good moral character. Then it was the Catholics who were going to break down the moral fiber of our society. Then it was the Chinese who were going to destroy us from within. Then it was epileptics, lepers, and Central Asians. Then it was Jews and Eastern Europeans who were going to destroy us. Then it was Mexicans and Communists.

So right now the big scary bugiman we have to fear is the Muslim. Until the haters on the right find someone else to be afraid of.

Tolerance may be a virus, but fear is a drug addiction.

TP Watch A-Skeerd of Man With Beard

EVERYBODY PANIC!

The boys at TP Watch have stumbled onto a video of Shaykh Yunis al-Astal, the famed Palestinian bloviator, cleric, and member of Parliament from the Hamas party. In a sermon last week, Shaykh al-Astal said some pretty crazy things:

This vision is no small task, for within those nations lay the three largest spiritual strongholds in the world today that have yet to be conquered by the Gospel: the giants of Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism. More than 90% of the unreached people groups in the world today are located within the 10/40 window – more than 5,100 tribes and ethno-linguistic groups with little or no Gospel witness. Of the world’s 50 least-Christian and least-evangelized countries, all 50 are located within this region!

Oh, wait. My bad. That was a whacko from the Back to Jerusalem movement talking about conquering Asia with Christianity. What a typo, eh? Now, this is what Shaykh Yunis al-Astal really said:

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren’t punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That’s war. And this is war.

Oops! That was another typo. It wasn’t Shaykh Yunis al-Astal who said that, it was another whacko from the United States. Here’s what the Shaykh said. For real, this time:

Today, Rome is the capital of the Catholics, or the Crusader capital, which has declared its hostility to Islam, and has planted the brothers of apes and pigs in Palestine in order to prevent the reawakening of Islam – this capital of theirs will be an advanced post for the Islamic conquests, which will spread through Europe in its entirety, and then will turn to the two Americas, and even Eastern Europe.

Huh. So there are a handful of religious whackos in China, the United States, AND Palestine who think their religion is telling them to conquer the world. Who knew?

Now, I’m no fan of Hamas. Let me repeat that. I’m no fan of Hamas. I think most Palestinians are also not fans of Hamas, and only voted for them because of the utter incompetence of Fath. But perhaps it would be better for the moderate voices of the Western world to dialogue with the more moderate members of Hamas so that whackjobs like Shaykh al-Astal and Ann Coulter don’t gain more power. There are far too many religious whackjobs as it is.

TP Watch Ignores Bigfoot Awareness Week — AGAIN!

The cryptid-coddling turdukenators over at TP Watch are up to their usual tricks this morning. And not the fun tricks where they roll over and fetch sticks and lick each others’ balls. Nope, this time their trick is ignoring the most urgent fictional threats to America.

While they’re off whining about the threat from the ludicrously fictional concept of Islamo-Fascism, they’re completely ignoring gigantopithecus blacki and all of the other fictional threats we face, some of whom have killed before and will kill again:

• Chupacabra – Last seen on the border between Mexico and the U.S. – that’s one illegal immigrant even us liberals won’t defend!
• Scylla and Charybdis – Let’s just see those TP Watchers navigate the Aeolian sea with a seven-headed beast and a giant whirlpool on the loose!
• Mothman – Known terrorist wanted in connection with the collapse of the Silver Bridge in West Virginia
• Jersey Devil – Not Jon Bon Jovi – the OTHER Jersey Devil
• Loch Ness Monster – Inspiration for a plethora of awful movies
• Kraken – He’s not just claymation anymore – this is the real thing, people!
• Ozark Howler – He’s not just a regular hillbilly with a magic mud puddle, folks. This guy can HOWL!
• Pope Lick Monster – Benedict XVI – you might want avoid Louisville on your upcoming U.S. visit.
• Skunk Ape – Previously spotted in the Florida Everglades. Rumor is he just bought a house in Kendall.
• Yeti – This bumble don’t bounce.

So be warned, cryptozoology-deniers! Bigfoot Awareness Week is being celebrated early this year, too! This time we’re gonna show that damn dirty ape we mean BUSINESS!

The Leftist-Islamic Axis EXPOSED: Democracy, Taxes, and Torture Edition

I’ve been hearing a lot lately from the braying pack of brayers over at ThinkProgress Watch about the supposed Leftist-Islamo-Stalinist-Jihadi alliance that they regard as a given fact and I regard as pure comedy. I decided to do a side-by-side comparison of the views of U.S.-based liberals and the Qur’an on some important social and economic issues. This blog post will be the first in a series of posts on the topic.

Disclaimer: Now, I recognize that I’m no Islamic scholar nor expert on all aspects of the economy or policy. Thus I invite experts in either area to provide their own interpretations of these issues.

Here’s what I found:

Democracy

Liberals, it would seem, love democracy. According to multiple studies, the blogosphere is chock-full of liberals talking politics, learning politics, and making informed decisions about the political process. From the Center for American Progress:

Since 2004, the blogosphere has grown over 100 times in size, according to Technorati.com. Progressives are dominating this new playing field. “Nielson ratings reported that the biggest political blog, DailyKos, is visited by 4.8 million people a month,” the New Politics Institute notes. “The Liberal Ad Network, which comprises nearly 100 of the biggest blogs that are aligned with the progressive cause, pegged readership at over 90 million page-views a month.” This change is critical, since Americans are using the web to get informed. More than 50 percent say they search for information about a candidate’s voting records, and 41 percent went online to double-check the accuracy of something a candidate claimed. This is especially true for the millennial generation: among people under 36, 35 percent said the Internet is their primary source for campaign information.

Wow! That’s a lot of political participation! I guess it’d be safe to say that liberals support democracy!

Now, what about Muslims? According to the Qur’an:

[42:36-38] So whatever thing you are given, that is only a provision of this world’s life, and what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who believe and rely on their Lord, and those who shun the great sins and indecencies, and whenever they are angry they forgive, and those who respond to their Lord and keep up prayer, and their rule is to take counsel among themselves, and who spend out of what We have given them.

Well, this seems to be saying that people should counsel among themselves – that sounds an awful lot like democracy, doesn’t it? But wait – there’s more:

[4:59] O you who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and those charged with authority among you. If you differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if you do believe in Allah and the Last Day; That is best, and most suitable for final determination.

Hmm. Well, this is saying that God should be the final judge in matters of public policy. So here’s where Liberals differ from the Qur’an – we prefer a separation of church and state (hence the term Secular Progressives), whereas a strict interpretation of Islam states that no law can contradict Shari’a law.

Well, that’s not very liberal. Sounds rather Dobsonesque, if you ask me!

Liberal-Islamic Axis on Democracy: Basic Fundamental Agreement But Differences in Detail Vis-A-Vis Religion and State

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Taxes

The issue of taxation, or Zakaat, in Islam is quite complicated indeed, according to scholars at USC:

Indeed, there are enough rules in Zakaat books to cover all types of business activity, be it cash or risk investment. If the business activity is analogous to commerce, it should be assessed the same rate as commerce. To subject the business to a different Zakaat rate of 10%, which is the rate of farm products instead of its correct rate of 2.5%, the rate of commerce, is unfair and unjustified. Besides, there is no proof, even a weak one, to justify this unfair arbitrary taxation. The difference between 2.5% and 10% is high. The Zakaat system is not like a state revenue collection, but Allah’s `ebadah. However, if a business person decides to give more than 2.5% after deducting all the expenses including depreciation, Allah (SWT) will accept it from him.

If I’m reading this correctly, there seems to be a requirement in Islam of a very low Flat Tax of 2.5% for individuals and 10% for corporations.

What about Liberals? I thought Liberals were always pushing for higher taxes, and opposed the Flat Tax as “regressive:”

The United States is fast approaching a “historic threshold: Should current trends continue — from higher payroll taxes to the potential impact of the Alternative Minimum Tax on middle-class earners — the U.S. system could tip from progressive to flat in a matter of years, at least for the top half of earners,” according to a recent economic study. Now, the case for comprehensive tax reform is more pressing than ever.

Well, it looks like Islam and Liberalism are at odds here.
Liberal-Islamic Axis on Taxes: Disagreement

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War and Torture

I don’t think it’s any secret that Liberals are anti-war and anti-torture. Even the TP Watchers acknowledge that. But what about Islam? Several verses in the Qur’an discuss the topic:

[17:33] Nor take life – which Allah has made sacred – except for just cause. And if anyone is slain wrongfully, we have given his heir authority (to demand retaliation or to forgive): but let him not exceed bounds in the matter of taking life, for he is helped (by the Law)

[22:39] Permission (to fight) is given to those upon whom war is made because they are oppressed, and most surely Allah is well able to assist them;

[2:190-192] And fight in the cause of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits.

So it would seem that the fundamental teachings of Islam dictate that one should only fight in self-defense, that killing is wrong, and that one should not exceed the limits. It would appear, then that Liberals and Muslims are indeed allied in their opposition to war and torture.

Liberal-Islamic Axis on War and Torture: Agreement

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So there you have it. One area of agreement, one disagreement, one maybe. Pretty inconclusive, huh? I guess we’ll have to consider the myth of the Liberal-Islamic Alliance BUSTED!

UPDATE: I address some dude’s inaccurate assumptions.

Uh-oh! They know we’re watching them watching us watching them watching!!!!

The latest post on ThinkProgress Watch is a threatening one indeed! Apparently these rightwing meany-heads think that we leftists are incapable of standing up to their standing up of our standing up. Well I, for one, will not stand for this standery! I’m going to debate Mr. Trajan75 point-for-point:

Leftist can’t handle Rightwingers who fight back!

Can too!

April 2, 2008 · No Comments

No comments, more like no CONTENTS! (In your brain!)

The Stalinists and Islamists at Think Progress have set up TPWatch Watch.

Have not!

I’m happy.

Are not!

It means TPwatch’s goals are being met!

Does not!

The Left for the last 8 years have had to deal with Bush and his sucker Wimpy Bushbots.

Have not!

They have allowed the Leftists to run all over them, smear them and spread propaganda.

Nuh-uh!

Well Leftists now you have me.

No we don’t!

You are creating a new more agressive Right.

No we’re not!

Konservo, Avid, Velvet and I are the New Right.

Heh. More like the New WRONG!

We will fight your lies and smear you back.

No you won’t!

Like a bully used to picking on wimps, the Left has finally ran into people who will fight back!

So, wait – are we the bullies and you guys are the wimps, or are you the bullies and we’re the wimps? I lost track of your mixed metaphor.

Bring it on Leftards!

Oh, it’s brung, Buck-o. It’s BRUNG!

Notice my skillful use of Conservatroll debating technique. I simply negated everything my opponent said, regardless of content or merit. Works every time!

What Is This Web-Site?

Welcome to ThinkProgress Watch Watch – Where we watch the watchers so that you don’t have to.

Now we realize that you might have some questions about this site, so we’re proud to present our Frequently-Asked Questions page:

Q: Why are you doing this?
A: Because someone needs to shed some light on what people are saying about what other people are saying on the Internet.

Q: Are you in any way, shape, or form affiliated with ThinkProgress or the Center for American Progress?
A: No, other than reading and posting on their site, and I do hope they receive this in the satiric spirit in which it is meant.

Q: But aren’t there too many “___ Watch” sites out there already?
A: Oh hell yes. Far too many.

Q: So what’s the point, then?
A: Pure gratuitous Internettery

Q: So would you say that this type of midrash-on-midrash analysis is the start of a new trend on the blogosphere and in contemporary political literature in general, or would you say that you are merely a late adopter of a centuries-old revisionalistic tradition?
A: Yes.

Q: My sources tell me you’re a Muslim. Is that true?
A: No. I’m a Roman Catholic Secular Progressive with Bokononist tendencies.

Q: Right. That’s too complicated. I’ll just put down “Muslim” then.
A: Fair enough.

Q: Why do you want to destroy America?
A: I don’t, actually.

Q: How long do you plan to keep maintaining this blog?
A: Pfff, I dunno. Until I get bored, I guess.